you are not alone.

michael jackson was pronounced dead this morning. this morning i think, as that was when i first heard the news. and the next 30 minutes of my journey, i was accompanied by his songs. songs we sang when we were still in primary's or maybe secondary's..(some were still in elementary)..

i strongly believe that almost everybody knows MJ. his rather weird moves, his symbolic black or white video and that moonwalking thingy. MJ is like a hero to many. (i think some of them fans decided to jump off the bridge or building by now). and some others are in-the-closet fans (especially those clad in black tshirts with a big red pentagram screaming at us from two blocks away).

when i was a boy, we would always get to hear MJ's songs in an indian friend's house, on a deepavali. be it from a VHS or TV3 just believed their rating will hit all-time high by showing them videos. whilst paying a visit, chewing the unchewable "bomb" cookies, me and other malay friends would sit, talk and at the same time watch MJ's concert or something.

in my personal opinion, i quite like the guy because of the neverland and his narcissistic nature. i don't know if he was ever a paedophile but the guy somehow made a difference in many lives.

p/s : i hate to break this to you michael but yes, you'll be alone down there.

you make me sick, i make music

evolution. whether premeditated or unintentional, it is difficult (sometimes) yet necessary. whenever i come across that word, my mind would travel hastily searching for the deeply stored information, specifically a sentence uttered by robert de niro in heat.

the girl asks, "are you alone?". mr de niro replies arrogantly, "yeah, i'm alone. but i'm not lonely".

what has it got to do with "evolution"?. articulately, i can't elaborate the correlation though. but it seems as if the word has an indescribable association with human relationships.

people evolve. so do relationships. from just a plain into a commitment-based. so on and so forth. that is what we do. we live and we learn. we fall and we bounce back with revitalised spirits. after which, we shall emerge "evolved".

at this point, i'm sure some are clueless. maybe, some are beginning to worry about me or the health of my mind. whatever it is, evolution is vital. provided it is projected with a positive vibe, for a positive result.

p/s : (never failed to impress, errr no, to complicate).

informed decision

inferiority complex?. or insecurity? i don't think that it is. it's just that i can't be certain about many things, always. especially when it's about being brave enough, with all the courage needed, to make a bold decision. decisions that would change the course of my life. decisions that would, maybe, alter the way i look at things. it would definitely hurt but it's the thing to do. (and i know that for a fact).

and yet, i just can't do it. the determination deteriorates in a blink of an eye. God, help me.