informed decision

inferiority complex?. or insecurity? i don't think that it is. it's just that i can't be certain about many things, always. especially when it's about being brave enough, with all the courage needed, to make a bold decision. decisions that would change the course of my life. decisions that would, maybe, alter the way i look at things. it would definitely hurt but it's the thing to do. (and i know that for a fact).

and yet, i just can't do it. the determination deteriorates in a blink of an eye. God, help me.

don't have to read this. really.

as always, it's kind of two minutes too late. too busy working, forgetting to live and now the consequence is taking its toll on him. the unprecedented amount of stress he ever experienced on a monday. he said, " i really don't need this now". but it's no longer his call.

then.
he was afraid. for being the younger version of himself is a scary thought. but he missed "him". and it felt so much easier to take the blame. about to leave and that's when it'll all happen. no can do. nary a word nor a sound. just shut up and listen or read or die.

really, he would prefer to be mr andy dufresne of shawshank redemption now.