black swan

falling apart, you tell yourself you are.

and when you thought you are matured enough
that you can cushion every pressure
that you won't lose yourself
that you can swallow it down

all of a sudden, you just don't know
you just don't care
you just couldn't be bothered
you just changed into someone you are afraid of

you are now the monster
the monster you were once thought of killing
the monster so fucked up it couldn't last any longer than a night

the thick black fog enveloped the angelic feathers of the swan.
the once white bird.
hence, a black swan.

it is wrong to think that you are always right. and it is ok to stay on the left for a while.

johor bahru #2

home is where the heart is

studio apartment

there's a place in tampoi indah quoting below myr200k for a townhouse. i've been searching around for a landed house for quite some time. found a single-storey terrace last year at a very, very cheap price. however, location-wise the place will need at least 7-8 years to be fully developed which will logically have a substantial effect on the future selling price. the only thing good about the house is, you can build another house of the same size next to it.

recently, a friend told me about the townhouse. the value was somewhere myr400k when it first launched and the singaporean owner is now letting it go at half price.

so i'll go check it out tomorrow. then, i'll decide. then, i'll feel responsible again. financially.

bensonandhedges

the time will come.

cause you just might get it all

i couldn't agree more with the designer about the writings of our friend up north. there is no and in fact, will never be an absolute freedom in this world.

hence, be careful in sharing your thoughts and opinions. i/we do not promote a rally on the grounds of preserving our freedom of speech. i'd rather learn to deal and live with the non-existence of it. during my years in SA, we had a debate on the issues pertaining to the Freedom Of The Press.

Case Study #1
A journalist should let the people know the truth as it is their responsibility. What if the truth is ugly, at it has always been? What if the truth makes the people who reads it become ugly?
Should the journalist still have the news made public?

Case Study #2
News Blackout. Do we use it appropriately? or appropriately?

Doing the right thing means doing it the right way (using the right channel), at the right time. my opinion is,"if you can't beat them, just join them. at your terms if you can. if not, just leave them".

after all, "what is popular is not always right and what is right is not always popular".

guerrilla radio! turn that shit up!

everywhere i go, coffee shops, toilets, complexes people are talking about the election. people are increasingly becoming a k-society in respect of the political climate of our nation ever since. i was not surprised with the current development but rather stunned with the election's outcome. although frankly i was hoping for a change, thus anticipated a number of seats to be grabbed by the leftists. but not 4 states.

and i thought i heard someone said something about a conspiracy theory in the pearl island. also, that all 3 of us should share the cake instead of fighting for a piece of it. it's very, very crucial, they said. i just thought, why cry over spilled milk?

and hopefully, there will be no riots or any form of public outcry.

there's one prominent lady figure from Turkey said this, "if they hate the leaders, it's our internal problem and we will deal with it. but if you attack this country, they will surely unite as one. they will be fighting against you as a team, a uniformed unit".

good and bad

the outcome is good and bad.

an accidental patriot

after work, i went to pizza hut as planned. we're supposed to discuss with the area manager of their intention to hold a major coloring contest in our atrium. one topic to another, or since there was nothing more appealing than tomorrow's election, we landed on top of the political mountain.
i can't remember when was the last time i ever had to justify my not going to vote this saturday. the manager was asking the very same question. question i have heard like zillion times. question i have been wanting to avoid. question that will only make me feel that i'm doing the right thing.

so i said many things about the current quality of life. i asked her if she could stop by the KFC and buy something for the family on her way home. she said, "yes, sure". and if she could do it effortlessly. and the answer was "yes" again. so i went, "do you know that there are breadwinners out there left with no other choice than to save for three months just to bring their kids to enjoy the KFCWTF, because they have been promised?". and because getting to dine in KFCWTF means a lot to them. a real big deal. and i said that i couldn't bear the sight of a family of three riding a bike in the rain. with the wife holding the baby.

in those remote places, villages, squatters, families shared a blanket under the tin roof. studying with the help of poisonous candles. fighting and crying over fried fish or cold chicken from yesterday's lunch.

and they say, this is a rich country. this is the nation you should be proud of. this is the country you can live in harmony. agreed. now, go help the people.

only read the papers after march 8

i was once asked to hold a discussion with someone from the industry. my boss had earlier, emailed a detailed proposal to me, with hope that i'd vet it through and revert with something to materialise from it. i didn't. she said, this guy is blind. my reaction was normal. i mean, how would you react to that?

so i went to meet him at a restaurant in our centre. the guy was wearing a sunglass, accompanied by a loyal friend. we shook hands and i apologised for being late. (shut up). actually, that friend kinda helped him to get our hands together. the guy then proceeded to elaborate the objective of that day's meeting...bla, bla, bla,....his friend was a bit quiet though.

you see, the social manner is, you should look a person in the eye section whilst he/she is doing the talking. not nose. not ears, not lips but eyes. so i just acted naturally and looked him right at the spot. and this guy, (i wonder if he can actually see from behind the glasses), he suddenly said to me, "i'm blind, you know". now that's the part that i did not know how to react. calmly and naturally. so i went, "yeah, ok". man, i felt bad. he didn't have to tell me about it.

and i'm meeting him again at 10.

p/s : a message to mr khai, "kita sudah berada di landasan yang betul". is that right?

teesherrt

my new t-shirt says, edison chen is my hero. period.

they say...

they say, if you love someone, set them free.
can you actually, willingly, possibly do that?

they say, no point of having someone around when he/she is not happy.
but, it is better to know that he/she is happy with someone else.
will you be happy then?

they say, move on. go on and find yourself a new set of happy memories.
will it ever be the same?

forget what they say. it's your life and your call. live and do it.

with or without you

i can't live with or without you.

contraband nation in electioneering

is there any other news than the upcoming election?

a) someone is getting a new tractor.
b) someone is helping someone at the wet market, in tailored suits.
c) someone is giving everyone something. for free. not really free actually.
d) something just need to be given away at least one month prior to the election date.
one week is ideal.

i'm not reading any papers.

can that someone do something about imitation cigarettes instead?. i had rather severe headaches after consuming a packet.

pre-election Q&A session.
A> mr minister, can we have cigarettes for free?
B> no, it's bad for your health.
A> why sell if it's bad?
B> well, it has a significant contribution to the tax which will be converted into developing our beloved nation. you know, schools and stuffs.
A> so, is this nation idealistic?. can we compromise health for something like "schools and stuffs", of which you can't be certain? we're still paying for books and stuffs, you know.
B> next question please.

just my thought. vote for me. i'll get you free cigarettes.