still got the blues!!

a man would do anything, i mean anything at all to keep his mind occupied..especially when u r in prison...

talking about prison....not just literally..am i so imprisoned by my inferiority complex?...is it me refusing to let it go? should i stay or should i go?

be it pornography (u can call it erotic, nudist, naturalist, artistic photography, call it whatever u will...it's pornography!!)..hehe...

or indulge in those promises and lies after a brief reading session of spiritual material...can't help but feel bad about myself not wanting to change or let go...
can't also swallow the fact that it's merely identity crisis in the making...won't admit the beauty of narcissistic or some kind of scientific explanation which will leave your tongue twisted trying to pronounce it....

that's more or less the way i keep my mind occupied..."i'm supposed to be doing this and that"...be realistic, me talking to myself...listen to the inner child, he's with u all these time and don't let ur maturity keep on dripping thru the hole poked by those unwanted rebellious nature....

hey, hey, hey, watch it!...help me help myself...i want to want to help... taking it easy voluntarily....

remembering the words of wisdom from an old friend, life is like a game of football..
no matter how many goals your opponent scored in the first half...u still have the second half to prove that u r at least worthy playing with..score, fight..whatever!
u might end up scoring more and win the game...(the end of the game is the end of ur life)...that's how it goes...

thanks man...i'm a walking disaster now!