restless souls...enjoy your youth

restless souls!!! enjoy your youth!!! vedder was right in "not for you". and that's why i never stopped listening to pearl jam. "this is not for you!!"

i'm broke but i'm happy
i'm poor but i'm kind"
i'm young and i'm underpaid"
"i'm tired but i'm restless"

alanis was also right. but i don't think i'm happy when i'm broke!

went to the bank.car installment.past due.as usual.
made a payment for last month's (i suppose).then the drama began. this teller told me to wait as he needed to clarify something. he handed over my form to the officer behind and started talking as if i've pointed a gun to his face seconds ago. impatiently i waited as such a dramatic moment never occurred to me during previous visits. then, this lady called out my sister's name. (car registered on her's). loud enough to turn all heads of sleepy morning customers towards her direction. she mispronounced the name so i just remained in my seat. then i walked up to her and said "it's NORAZIAH, not NORAZA". and with that she asked for my name and cellphone no in a spy movie interrogation manner. after a while, the teller made a gesture that mine is ready. i approached, took and asked "what the hell just happened?" ..."sorry, they've blocked your account (for an obvious reason) and we need to make a few calls in order to release it"

F**K!! i hate to be broke. this time i'm going to be FLAT broke!.

my existence will never rock your world.

TIME magazine.always and will be read by aristocrats, wannabes (oh-look-at-me-calmly- reading-TIME-as-intellectual-as-a-white bearded-doctor-can-be)and such.i read TIME and you decide which category do i fell into.in fact i've never restrict myself from reading anything."GOD forbid you'll have to walk a mile in my shoes!"
it's a good mag anyway.

birds and all ecosystems.
an article on global-warming and how bad it has become and how it will affect your lovely outdoor morning breakfast.i'm exaggerating there.seriously, we should all look into it with super attention.ice is melting, temperature is rising, ozone layer is waning.thanks to human contribution on smoking (ooopss), open burning (what a beautiful forest fire you got there Indonesia!), gas-fuelled vehicles, CFC and those industrial sectors which produces our children's microwaveable lunches.species known as non-migratory, nocturnal are showing symptoms that it is unbearable to stay at their motherland no more.sea level is rising at an approximate 6m per year.go get your life jacket!take up that swimming lessons! is that our efforts gonna be on curbing the issue.

HALAL certificate (nothing to do with TIME)
had a discussion with my Chinese friends and i'm certain we were talking on the same page that day.i'm a Muslim.i will never consume that forbidden white meat.but friends, problem is HALAL is much more than just the presence of that white meat in your food.JAKIM imposed a regulation that all non-Muslim F&B operators must acquire and display HALAL certificate at any given time.obligatory.compulsory.and to acquire that certificate you must first be examined, inspected and questioned.i'm a Muslim and i think it's a good thing to have in our policy.after all, this is a Muslim country.
but we should not forget our national agenda.multi-racial unity.therefore, why can't we do the same to ALL?.the regulation should apply to ALL F&B operators.my dear friends, it is already stated in the HOLY QURAN that it is much more than just the white meat (in any tongue-twisting scientific names).

questions raised on-preparation, source and that white-meat thingy (in any form).
it is very difficult to ascertain the fertilizer they're using, source of water and many others.

the way i see it, why don't we just avoid the places we doubt in terms of HALAL?
and even if we do, accidentally consumed, non-HALAL food...should we feel bad? man, read carefully, ACCIDENTALLY consumed.as for me, i prefer not to think about their hidden religious agenda (if there is any).simply, i just don't entertain.just avoid.

parody of luck and relationships

question.
should i keep my hopeless crave for a lasting relationship with someone? not just someone. something which means everything to me. something so simple. a normal gesture caught my eyes. tattooed in my mind. it seems like i'm trying to remove a scar. the more i try to have it removed, fondly i become over it. it is a memento. thus, i would prefer to cry having and remembering rather than to laugh removing and regretting.
*sigh*
notwithstanding the fact that i know i should've taken it easy, i tried endlessly. as i managed to remain receptive to a newer and fresher indulgences, i hate the feeling of which i kept bubbling under in the sense of conformity.

"time.hootie and the blowfish."
Time, you left me standing there
Like a tree growing all alone
The wind just stripped me bare, stripped me bare
Time, the past has come and gone
The future's far away
Now only lasts for one second, one second
Can you teach me about tomorrow
And all the pain and sorrow
Running free?
'Cause tomorrow's just another day

time is never time at all.but please.this time, i need to know.

i love my friends

i've always imagined taking a quite walk down the park.at dusk.far away from all the things in the city.a getaway.a silent retreat.i'll walk and greet every single person i meet regardless of the skin colors or languanges or whatever.without borders.i'll sit at the beach.waiting for the sunset.accompanied by the cold breeze, my closest friends and my self-consciousness.while they are enjoying their ice cold beers (which i'm sure they will), i'll smoke my problems away.we'll be singing our favorite high school songs and enjoy the BBQ dinner.we'll be totally "unplugged".
an aeroplane every single song will be.we'll fly back to our happy days.every single second will be cherished, treasured.being me and knowing my friends, it does not take much to make us happy.

friends, as we're sailing through this life, remain true to yourself.this is just a test.a reminder for all of us, including myself.

"just a float on the sea"
"found myself on a page of history"
"you know as i ride along, i can always hear the song"
"about you and the way we used to be"
"i'm gonna tell you the answer, you'll know when you come back to me"

if we should fall, love will catch us everytime.period.

we're all suffering from S-PD

Healer Idealists are abstract in thought and speech, cooperative in striving for their ends, and informative and introverted in their interpersonal relations. Healer present a seemingly tranquil, and noticeably pleasant face to the world, and though to all appearances they might seem reserved, and even shy, on the inside they are anything but reserved, having a capacity for caring not always found in other types. They care deeply-indeed, passionately-about a few special persons or a favorite cause, and their fervent aim is to bring peace and integrity to their loved ones and the world.
Healers have a profound sense of idealism derived from a strong personal morality, and they conceive of the world as an ethical, honorable place. Indeed, to understand Healers, we must understand their idealism as almost boundless and selfless, inspiring them to make extraordinary sacrifices for someone or something they believe in. The Healer is the Prince or Princess of fairytale, the King's Champion or Defender of the Faith, like Sir Galahad or Joan of Arc. Healers are found in only 1 percent of the general population, although, at times, their idealism leaves them feeling even more isolated from the rest of humanity.

excerpt from "The Potrait of a Healer Idealist". The description of me and people like me. I took their test and that's a portion of the overall explanation of my hidden-and-now-partly-surfaced personality. Partially, i couldn't agree more. Some might not be applicable for me (or me not wanting to admit it does have a substantial affiliations, i don't know). But hey, it's good. Below is the link, if you are one of those details-seeking freaks.

http://keirsey.com/personality/nfip.html

so guys, you know you want to. knock yourself out. here is the link.

http://www.humanmetrics.com/cgi-win/JTypes2.asp

take the test honestly.

slacking in the free world

an honest entry with no connectivity.proceed at your own will.

born and raised in a family where the act of complaining is more of a sinful act than simply a potrayal of ones unique taste and preference has taken its toll on me. for a very long time, i was in my cocoon of mine not having any idea of what to write in that "my favourite" column. it's already "written" for me. period.
the funny thing is, the moment i discovered the art of complaining, i couldn't stop. i just can't. haha. *damn*.

i always think my looks and appearance spell...dead serious, cocky, (my-dick-is- bigger-than-yours-attitude) and mysterious...but i'm the total opposite of what i appeared to be. except for the mysterious part, i guess.haha.*damn again*.

i want to be selfish but i WON'T feel that somehow i'm a better person than anyone around me.
to remain defiant, i can't help but acknowledge the unannounced presence of inferiority complex.
i'm smiling while writing this entry. met my friends. long lost ones. an eye-opener session folllows.

they said, "man, i know you're way much better than most of them in that company. i'm certain about that and why are you doing this? don't waste your time."

and i said, "i'm tired. i hate to admit this but i feel helpless"
then, i opened upon them the chest to the sketchy plans of mine. and the conversation ended with a lot of things bubbling in my mind. minutes before leaving..."go prepare your CV, i know a place for you" "and for the time being, just hang in there"

what a relief. made my day.ciao!

"an angel will fall from the sky"