abuse me more i like it

i'm abused. stripped away from the convenience of having an internet connection. funny, ridiculous and whatever shit i'm feeling at the moment couldn't hold back the temptation to leave the company very, very soon.

you just couldn't believe it. we're walking against the stream. we're still in the era when sigmund freud hasn't discovered the principles of communication, let alone the significance of it. i feel no longer attached. no more sentimental value and all that emotional sickness.

i can't update my dear friends. it's not like i'm trying to have an online petition to put a pressure to my HR Dept. so that they will have mine reconnected. all i know, they've just crossed the line.

soundtrack for mira nair's kama sutra

i don't know anything

oh how i wish
how i wish you were here
you were here when i first cry
you were here when i first feel love
you were here when i first feel pain
oh how i wish

oh how i wish
how i wish you were here
you were here when i first smile
you were here i first feel happy
you were here when i first make love
oh how i wish

cha-cha

i was down at the new amsterdam. staring at this yellow-haired girl. mr jones strikes up a conversation with this black-haired flamenco dancer...mr jones by counting crows.

flamenco dancer. shiny, black hair. bright, red lips in a sexy and appealing red dress. legs, sure they have beautiful legs.

gypsy kings rules!..haha...

before and after

celine> I had worked for this old man and once he told me that he had spent his whole life thinking about his career and his work. And he was fifty-two and it suddenly struck him that he had never really given anything of himself. His life was for no one and nothing. He was almost crying saying that.

jesse> I don't know, I think that if I could just accept the fact that my life is supposed to be difficult. You know, that's what to be expected, then I might not get so pissed-off about it and I'll just be glad when something nice happens.

that's an excerpt from before sunrise. a movie i should've watched before before sunset. too many things to say about the movie and just too many new discoveries.

one thing about ethan hawke is, you won't get distracted easily. i mean, his facial expression resemble someone who's been through a lot and couldn't be bothered if there's more coming his way. that depressed, hopeless slacker type.
try great expectations and reality bites. also, both abovementioned titles. you'll get what i mean.

and i've just discovered that i've been thinking too much about everything when i actually shouldn't in the first place. after all, life is what you make it. what matters most is to keep doing anything that makes you happy. no guilts and no regrets.

like i always thought, "wouldn't it be nice if i could just sit around once a week, maybe. i'll have strong, black coffee and my camels. then i'll have chris cornell in the background to accompany me during the sunset or whatever".

wouldn't it be nice?

harry pothead and the gardening habit

why can't i find anything like this here? or was it hidden? do i have to ask for assistance?

and does it include batteries? err, sorry plants..

i'd rather smoke and fly

back in 98, jas & co used to spend a lot of time at my place. so we had tequila at times and weed all the time. there's something which he wrote that goes something like this. "why drink and drive when you can smoke and fly?". don't ask. he was high then, of course..hehe..

well, that photo above is a beer-making machine i got from gizmodo.com (a site dedicated to disclosing and reviewing the latest gadgets and gizmos in the pipeline).

to jas>>>and don't tell that you don't want one.

rain falls on everyone

the photo was taken about four years ago, if i'm not mistaken. we were having a barbecue night out with friends from school. colorful night i must admit. i was halfway there when i decided to play some songs. and to be honest, i couldn't really recall most of the things i said or did that night.

we had too much of almost everything that night. too much food, too much booze and also too much weed. still it is considered as one of the best moments of my not-so-interesting life. i remember waking up feeling sick next to a high school friend. i must've vomitted my liver and with an aching head, mumbling in a desperate need for water and food.

those were the days. i'd prefer to remember it as a special get-together. and since 2008 means we're celebrating the 10th year anniversary, i'd like to propose a family-oriented event to commemorate it.

any ideas?

worn down by worry

is this my dream job? is this want i want to do really? is it right to be thinking about it in the first place? that was all the questions popped in my head this morning. ensued by a long sigh.

i had a late breakfast after a brief discussion with our team. by the time i'm walking down to the food court, that "what the fuck am i doing here?" question surfaced. i feel like someone waiting to die. that breakfast routine is just to fill in the blanks so that i won't be thinking about my death. that's bad.

i think i need a new job. or maybe some challenges. or perhaps, simply a change. when you feel too complacent at this age after a long holiday, you ought to start doing something about it.

comments anyone?

the space, the land and the sea

the space.

and now we have an astronaut. our very own, malaysian astronaut. positively, i must say it's an achievement. forget the bollocks like "it is perfectly orchestrated. the election is around the corner thus securing a majority votes for the ruling party". is it so? shouldn't we spend that much as to put our country on the world's map?. datuk shahrir said that he is positive too but still the idea of pursuing the programme by sending the 2nd man should be given a thorough research. to assume that our people didn't really care about the money is not a bad idea at all. we love these kind of things and everybody knows it.

the land.
malaysia lost again. read my lips, i said malaysia not myteam2. why? isn't it that obvious that myteam2 is just another reality show? they have all the corporate, big players sponsoring while having the show aired on tv3. i've seen an episode. one look and i know right away how dramatic the show is. since they are playing against indonesia, them capitalist failed to notice or maybe it was their utter ignorance that the team is representing malaysia. thus it translated our level of professional football. is there such thing like building a dream team with such ample fitness and ability to play as a real team just within a month? and letting them carrying our flag? hmm...

the sea.
i'm so sorry about the ferry incident. that was bad and the worst part, it was avoidable. i hate the fact that a few weeks after the incident, we published a manual on safety procedure and blah-blahs on dos and donts while onboard. first buses, ferries and many more. what are we doing since an approximate 30% of our income derived from the tourism sector? stop talking about crisis management. if we are ready and we've taken all preventive measures, what is there to manage?

yesterday's headline.
i hate politics and hate to write about it but have you guys heard about the report ACA is preparing? a few ministries involved + millions of ringgit.

O mr ACA, please do your job. For thee is the only hope!

computer collo

lol.
it's everywhere. so in order to satisfy myself, i went around searching for the actual meaning for this computer slang. here's what i found.

It's original definition was "Laughing out loud" (also written occasionally as "Lots of Laughs"), used as a brief acronym to denote great amusement in chat conversations.

Now, it is overused to the point where nobody laughs out loud when they say it. In fact, they probably don't even give a shit about what you just wrote. More accurately, the acronym "lol" should be redefined as "lack of laughter."

but i must agree with the author's remarks. the "lol" is just way too overused that the actual meaning or expression sunk. i also come across the slang accompanied with a wink. wtf?

conversation #1
a>i'm horny and i can't help fantasizing about my neighbour.
b>lol.

conversation #2
a>do u know that the notorious al capone died of herpes instead of a drive-by shooting?
b>lol.

so i decided that the lol is actually just a sentence-filler. no rules. just use it.

lol.

(shit!)

you can't have it all

it was still dark when i went out for work. i put on the used. one of those cds in my possession but not sure when will i be listening to their thing. so it was also still dark in the office. arriving early is my personal achievement every single time and a surprise to them. every single time. them are those not getting love letter from the folks in HR. and i thought what better to listen to when everything is dark. melancholic, violin shit music.

so above is what our graphic designer did for allusers@_ _ _ _.com.my greeting of the year. far right is the new guy. he's definitely in his mid-life crisis.

it's four more days to hari raya. i'd rather not think about what will happen right after this hari raya. two weeks after to be exact.

we're having a buka puasa session with the press people today. you have no idea how important that is if you wonder why do we have to spend so much on dinners and all that shit for them.

wanker!

p/s : i suppose i should've heard or knew about murphy's law at this age. but no, i've just discovered it. only recently. and i hate traffic jams even more ever since.
this lane is faster that the other one and in an instant, it stopped moving. then, you'll have to bear the smiling faces from the next lane, throwing that achievement look to you. shit!

original prankster

the japs lost. latinos got crazier pranks dude!

heart of the matter that matters

when i first received the video, all i could expect is something indecent or something that would decrease the amount pahala i'm supposed to get..hehe..

i'll tell you about the beauty of Ramadan. i thought i didn't know or even bother about it previously. not until 6 or 7 years ago. or was it 3? whatever. this month is so beautiful that you'll shed a tear or try hard to hide it when it ends.
Lailatul Qadar. The Night. the much-awaited, sought-after night. nobody knows when it's going to be the night. hidden in the last ten days of Ramadan. that's tomorrow.

my mum told me a story the other day about an incident somewhere in the 60's. she was pregnant. my bro. life was so difficult they have to tap rubbers. so she went out in the wee hours of the morning. alone, mind you. so one not-so-fine morning, she was out in the woods and riding next to the tree lines. all of a sudden, she saw a spheric thing emitting radiant green lights moving down the valley right in front of her. about 100 yards. frightened (as everyone would, i suppose), she performed the azan. then, the thing disappeared. the wind blew hard that the headlight extinguished. with no matches, she sat down waiting for the morning sun.

and that was when she saw something similar to what being told in the Quran. all creatures will bow down on the night of Lailatul Qadar. that's exactly what she saw. all trees surrounding her bowed down in the direction of Baitullah surely, but she couldn't understand why then. too amazed.

p/s : back to the video. that's kinda cool. that guy is no picasso. and he's not gay i'm sure.

donate!

monthly expenditure on the average.

myr12.00 for public toilets.
myr 75.00 on cigarettes.
myr 36.00 on condoms.
myr 280.00 on rooms.
myr 90.00 on wasted foods.
myr 75.00 on wasted gas for unproductive purpose.

and someone, somewhere out there never thought of having any, let alone all of the above. so let's do our bit. no matter how bad we are or how penny-pinching we have become, please donate. i can assure you, it feels good. it's good to know that your bit will make a difference in the lives of others.

regardless of the colors, languages or even borders, this is planet earth. it is our planet. for us, humans.

you can go now.

ASS-afternoon sleepy syndrome

friday nite. despite the fact that we need to conserve the energy to survive the wrath of the burning sunlight, our team were transported to pasir gudang after tarawikh. for those not in the know, pasir gudang is a booming industrial area and tarawikh is a prayer specially performed during ramadhan.

sometimes it's scary though. kind of suicidal in a way, i think. imagine stranded in the middle of an industrial area with all those hazardous chemicals and god-knows-what-else materials with only one escape route. last year's major fire incident was a reason i'm having second thoughts in buying a house in PG.

so we were there to finalise on the launching ceremony of an anchor tenant, to be inaugurated by the mecd's minister. screeched to a halt at 2am. and after the event, i slept my way to 5pm.

the day after, small gathering with schoolmates. slept at 2+am again. woke up at 6pm. what in the world is happening to my sleep cycle?..whatever cause i'm enjoying it..hehehe...

message #1 >> thanks dave, come over..we'll play meriam buluh...
message #2 >> restoran anggun is only good for its "tomyam chiang rai". period.
message #3 >> i never thought hassan miskam is a good subject. well, it is!

and a technical staff from air asia said something like this, "that 737 is not really safe. there's always something leaking and errors on the hydraulics part. thank goodness they are replacing it with a320". and i've travelled several times on that goddamn plane this year!

environMENTALLY-friendly

fight your inner demon

5 down, 25 to go. today is the 6th day of ramadan. the test had begun in such a beautiful weather. not so hot and cold either. paradiso perdutto. and still i couldn't find a solid reason of why an adult (weighing over 80kg) failed to fast on the 2nd day. what? 2nd day? (cheh!).

this year, i don't feel the usual crave to smoke. in fact, it has been handled effortlessly. i don't think i'm handling it at all. nor i'm thinking of quitting, just cutting down (please refer khai's recent post on a similar subject, vividly describing the amount decreased. i say, "yeah, whatever man""you'll miss them and you know it so save a pack in your drawer, you'll never know when you really gonna need them"....>laughing<.....).

i had my freedom at last. it was my first weekend of not having to come to work. that has been translated into sleeping until 2.33 in the afternoon. lovely!

it was a very a long time since i last watched anything funny like wild hogs. now where the hell is will ferrell?

territorial pissing

we have just shifted to a newly-renovated office. i'm having a difficult time digesting the fact that finally we all are accumulated together on the same floor. not really the kind of concept i'm looking forward to be adapted into. reasons being :-

our dept has a very unique collection of deaf people. we talk like wet market traders and laugh like nobody's business. we smoke right at our desks after office hours. we will play a few songs accompanied with two guitars almost everyday. we think that everyone else (anyone not from the dept) carries a different flag. and that's just a start.

the worst part is :- no more music videos (let alone loud music from the mp3 playlist), no more decent pornography (if there is any) and no more jamming session. that's for sure.

my desk is now L-shaped. stretch both your arms in a shape of T and that's how big it is. the angle of the monitor is even worst. it is easily visible from my boss's room and our senior manager whose cubicle is perfectly placed next to my boss's.

what a wonderful world.

stunned

sunday. i had since friday monitoring and coordinating promotional activities in conjunction with 50th merdeka anniversary celebration. and on sunday, finally i had the chance to spend quality time with my friends. shopping, thing that i've been putting on hold for months deliberately due to various reasons, finally surfaced.

bought damien rice's 9. man, all this while i thought that thom yorke is the most depressed man on the face of the planet. "the animals were gone". beautiful! also, got myself a maroon 5 and a corgan's solo offering.

nightmares. stage 4. no REM though. just ghosts, flood and armageddon. i like the flood part. cause that means, as someone said, i'm going to be rich...haha....gotta remember to wash my feet.